When tragedy strikes

Have you ever wondered why we let things go until something bad happens… then it has to be repaired. I’ve noticed this worse with men. When men are sick or have some kind of bump or soreness, we think it will go away or heal itself. Sometimes we would rather go through the pain of weeks than take the time to see a physician.

My father in law walked around with his knees so bad for over two years that he could hardly walk, much less play golf. After one night out at dinner, we had to help him to the car. He is from the old school. His favorite saying is, “It’ll get better once it stops hurtin’ ”.

Now that I am getting older I have plenty of aches and pains that continue and seem to be getting worse as I continue to lift weights to try and stay in some type of shape. I guess after 35 years of weight training and 15 years of racing motocross, it has taken its toll.

Two weeks ago I noticed something on the bridge of my nose. I have had treatment on that area of my nose a few times for pre-cancer. Basically, I have not taken care of my skin while in the sun. While looking at that area, I noticed there seemed to be an indentation in that area. I thought, “Wow, this is what I have to look forward to as I age…this sucks!” Unfortunately, as we age, things change. Body parts expand, hair grows where it never did before and falls out where at one time, may have been our trade mark!

This morning while I was reading, I noticed my reading glasses were sitting comfortably in those dents in my nose. Last year the little rubber pads wore off of them and I didn’t want to replace them because I thought, “hey, they still work”, and besides I am kind of a miser when it comes to that kind of stuff. So I texted my wife and let her in on my discovery. She texted me back, “dork…go buy some new ones!”

While I thought about it, something else really hit me. The tragedy we saw this past week. It happened twice within a few weeks in Oregon, where one of my best friends is the pastor of the church that put together a special service just for the people at the mall. Then I thought about Connecticut, and all of those little ones that will miss Christmas with their families and families that will be forever changed because of the acts of a few obviously confused boys with evil in their hearts.

I have looked at the faces of those little ones and the teacher who hid them in the closet. It reminded me of the Columbine tragedy and remembering some of the words and face of Rachel Scott. I remember going to a function with our youth group just a few months after the scene in Columbine and listening to her father Darrell Scott give the story of how it all unfolded. It has brought back many memories of what we have seen in the last decade of what boys, kids, people are capable of when we don’t see what really is going on in the hearts and minds of humanity.

There are many questions going through the minds of Americans right now. Most will be unanswered and left like the folks that just do not tend to their sores and the dents I ignored on my nose. For me it’s an easy solution, just get some new glasses. But for those who lost their child, it will not come easy.

Some people want more gun control. Some people want revenge and for most of us, we are not sure what to do? There are no easy answers here, but I know there is a solution to future assurances’

. My mentor would come by the business that I ran for him once a week to visit and check up on what may need attention. He is a very detailed person and nothing ever slipped by his eyes or ears for that matter. He noticed something that needed attention that I had forgotten about and brought it to my forefront. He began by saying an old phrase that is a familiar one. He mentioned it to me by saying, “Greg, you know those cracks in the building that people walk by everyday and after a while you continue to walk by them and don’t notice them anymore, until it’s too late and you have to replace the whole wall…that’s what is going to happen unless you take care of this problem right now”.

Friends, our nations problem, is a heart problem! You may be thinking, what…what are you talking about? Our children are being influenced today by evil input. We may not really see it that way, but it is reality. A quick example is with my own son. He’s 13 and like most boys his age, he can be influenced very easy. He wanted an x-box two years ago for Christmas. The problem was, I already knew the influence it could have on his mind and worse, his heart. I bought it for him with a reluctant mind but did it anyway to please my boy.

After two years of him playing the games, I finally took it away from him, for good. During this period we would have to take it from him a few times because of his lack of respect to us as parents and the violence it created in him. We would literally argue about things every day. He didn’t want to play outside with friends, unless they came over to play x-box. He was not considering other sports which he had excelled at on a regular basis. We noticed it also caused a downward spiral in his self image.

Now, I am not saying this will happen to every kid, but it is fact that it is a huge issue nationwide. I am also not saying x-box is to blame just like I will say that guns are not the blame. We will have to change the way we bring up or kids and monitor their behaviors by instilling in them positive moral values which will not be taught in our school systems, government or even churches.

It will take us to change. Our future leaders look at us and model what we do not what we say. Life lessons are caught way more than they are taught.  Today’s youth are barraged with more sex messages from media and music than we could ever imagine. The messages we send to our youth are what we are seeing acted out in real life, and it ain’t pretty. Youth see more violence than my stepfather saw in Vietnam and he came back a decorated Marine with three purple hearts.

So what can we do to change these tragedies? I refer to what Jesus would say to us, and He said this to group of religious leaders of His time, Luke 6:45 “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”

First off, what are you storing in your heart? What we store up in our hearts, reflects what our children will store up in their hearts. If we are not teaching and modeling what our kids are to become, somebody will. Whether it is media, friends, teachers or games, that data is storing up in our kids hearts and it has to come out. Our inner beings are like a sponge. The sponge doesn’t care if it soaks up toilet water, paint, soda, alcohol or pure water, it will soak up whatever it is exposed to. When the sponge is squeezed, whatever was in the sponge comes out. Who are you when the pressures of life or any situation come around? You will be exactly like the sponge, when you’re squeezed, whatever you have been putting in your heart, the stuff will come out!

Our future leaders, our children have been exposed to what our media is allowing to be seen and it is going into the hearts of our children and they are being squeezed. So we are seeing what is coming out! This problem will not go away until we do something about our hearts and the hearts of our children. They are not cracks we can walk by daily and forget about. Our future society depends on the repairs needed today!

Decisions

“A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers” Plato

What a frustrating Sunday for us 49er fans this weekend. They start a quarterback that is there to stretch the field, and yet they played conservative. Not to take anything away from the Rams defense at all, I thought they played an outstanding game. It all comes down to decisions. Coach Harbaugh decided to start Colin Kapernick three weeks ago to install a much needed deep threat to part of the offense. But, where was it yesterday? The decision to pass seven yards when you need 15 plus yards on third down and run Gore up the middle on a 2^nd and 20 against seven men in the box is not good decision making.

There are plenty of other added failures and mistakes, but it almost always comes down to the leadership making decisions. You may have heard the cliché, “Everything rises and falls on leadership”.

I was also interested in watching Tigers tournament that is played every year at Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks California, where there are many decisions being made at every hole by every player. I’m a golf fanatic. I enjoy all of the intricacies of the swing as well as the mental aspect. Decisions are a part of sports as well as our everyday walk. I started our blog with a with a video of Rickie Fowler because he needed to make a decision that may not seem that big to most viewers, but it took practice, planning and the execution to get the result he received. He needed to access the position where and how far to drive the ball to the wedge shot he pulled.

Why am I talking about these types of decisions? I like to relate golf and sports in general to our decisions we make in everyday life. In sports we practice in order to execute on game day. We practice certain plays or shots over and over during practice, so when the time comes, your decisions become part of the habit you have built into your game so it becomes just what you do, you make the play or the shot.

So today, I would like to ask you, what are you doing to build correct decision making into your life? I have learned that when you are under pressure and it’s time to make those crucial decisions, your true identity comes forth. Many times we make decisions because we are scared, angry, want revenge, hurt and the many other reasons we seem to get ourselves into. The guys on tour make shots because of the decision they made to work on their game. Coaches make decisions because of certain circumstances or the many other feelings, mentioned above.

As I watched my favorite team Sunday make decisions I was not happy about, I turned to watch Rickie Fowler make the shot on number 12 and the result was a proper decision flowed by excellent execution. It reminded me of many different stories in the bible of men who made bad choices and others who had made wise decisions. The decisions that stood out for me in this segment were found in Isaiah 30:21 “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, this is the way; walk in it."

So, are you listening to that voice when needed, or you’re not sure? Or worse, are you just avoiding that voice and turning your back on it, because it’s not what you want to hear at this particular time in your life? Many of us make decisions based on what we know and the worst part is most of us may be afraid to know.

Just two thoughts I would like to leave you with today. First, when we make decisions, it not only affects us, but our decisions have an impact on others. Yes, every decision you and I make has some kind of an effect on other people. Second and more importantly, when you make decisions who are you listening to? Our decisions always come from some kind of influence…always!

The 49er’s made a decision on what they were influenced by. Rickie Fowler made a decision on what he was influenced by. Who and what are you influenced by?

Pratice for Fun!

There is something about golf that I believe is different than any other sport. It's kind of a love hate relationship. So yesterday I talked my 13 year old son into hitting balls. He had two options since football is over, either go back to Karate or play golf. Knowing that he doesn't have any interest in Karate anymore, I knew he would say golf, but with much animosity because he decided earlier it wasn’t cool to play the game. But I knew something about golf that he doesn’t know. Once you have been bitten by the “golf bug”, it’s very difficult to get over. I think I understand what an addict goes through!

Two years ago he had went through a few months of loving it and wanting different clubs and some of the cool apparel we all seem to enjoy. I know once I was bitten by this mysterious bug, I was hooked and haven’t even entertained the thought of quitting. But as 13 year old boys do, they constantly have different passions and go through changes.

Yesterday was an awakening for my boy. You see, he is a perfectionist. If he hits a few bad balls, he gets frustrated and wants to quit. So I had him start off hitting short 40 yard shots to a particular area to get his confidence going and by the time he began hitting his longer irons, he was hitting the ball well, so well I could tell he was enjoying his swing. You may have been there, just enjoying the feel of a good balanced swing and the ball going in the spot intended.

He is a sporadic golfer. By that I mean, he will play or hit balls maybe every four months or so or maybe longer. So for him to hit balls well yesterday was a plus, not only for him, but for me. You see, he doesn’t like me telling him how to swing, grip or anything, especially when he is not hitting well. So I began encouraging him to hit those short shots, not as a start but to see if he could hit the squirrel in this one spot. I tried to make it fun.

After he had hit about 40 or so balls, I asked him, “OK Bryce, you ready to go home?”

He looked at me with a confused look as I smiled at him as he said, “But…I don’t want to go, this is awesome”.

So I began my little talk with him. I said, “Bryce there is nothing like a great feeling shot is there?”

He smiled and said, “No dad, you’re right, this is the best…I think I want to practice so I can get good.”

Most of us understand what I am talking about. There is nothing like a great swing followed by a great shot. I have learned that is what gets us coming back. I am hoping that it will keep my son coming back. He has huge potential, but lacks work ethic.

But one thing is for certain, when you are driven by a feeling or more importantly an experience that is the catalyst that ignites the fire that will drive you to succeed. Success on the course is driven by your desire on the range. If I can get my son to enjoy the practice sessions, the rest will take care of itself. I remember Tiger saying on an interview with the Golf Channel that his favorite thing to do is his practice time.

So our tip for the day; Practice brings enjoyment to the game. I know a lot of golfers that hate practice. Every once in a while you will meet a person that can play well without practicing. But for most of us, practice is the only way to get better. So, the key to practice is to learn to enjoy it. Make up games on the range to have fun. If you have a friend that will practice with you, that’s even better. Play games against each other, so it doesn’t get boring. So next time you practice, enjoy the things you don’t usually think of, change things up and watch your scores drop.

“Add value to others” John Maxwell

Last Wednesday my boy’s middle school football team had their awards banquet. With all 93 players on hand for some grub, some social time with their buddies and of course the awards. After the awards were handed out and the program came to an end, my wife and I began socializing with the parents and the players were having a good time talking with the cheerleaders.

After only a few minutes of socializing my boy came to me with a hurt and disgusted look on his face, and said, “can we go now”, I knew something had upset him, so I asked him what was the problem, but he wouldn’t say, so I said, “hang out with your friends, your mom and I are talking with some of the parents”. We had become friends with many of them over the years of youth football. But he persisted with what looked like tears that he was holding back. After a few more minutes we began walking out to our cars as we congratulated some of the boys who received the awards. The boy who received the MVP award was one of my boy’s friends since youth baseball where his father and I coached together.

My boy did not want to ride with me home, so he hopped in is mothers car without saying goodbye to me. I asked him why, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with me. So, I walked to my car wondering what was going on, what did I do to hurt my boy? I thought maybe he was a little jealous of me giving the other boys their accolades. So as we all arrived to our home he walked over to me and buried his head in my chest with a big hug. I asked him what was going on at the event and he stood back and looked at me with tears in his eyes and holding back is apparent broken heart.

I asked him to tell me what was going on. He looked at me and said, “I didn’t achieve anything, I didn’t get an award”.

I said, “did you expect to get one”?

My boy, “Of course, I’m better than so and so”

So, I began the talk. I mentioned to him the boys that received their award were constantly working hard in practice as well as the games. They were always in a play whether it was defense or offense, they worked very hard and they were noticed by their peers and the boys voted for them. So my boy felt a little betrayed that they didn’t vote him in for one of the awards.

Have you ever been passed over for some kind of recognition? Remember what that may have felt like at 13 years old? Sometimes we want the recognition without the extra effort that rewards are followed by. Like my boy, he wanted the reward without the effort. He is a good player, but doesn’t give the effort that warrants the kudos that comes with the work ethic. He played this year with the talent he had last season thinking that was enough. Unfortunately, he had to learn the hard way. In football, your position is always up for grabs. Other players that work hard can take your spot even when you are a better athlete.

It happened with my high school daughter this season during water polo. There are a few players that were better than her talent wise, but she worked hard and took their spot on the team as a starter. This is just one example of what people can and will do when they work hard. We see it in business as well as sports.

In the book of Mathew chapter 25 verse 14-26, we find Jesus in another discussion about a description of Heaven. This story is told many times to listeners of our times about our talents and how we are given gifts to serve others and most importantly, our master. But the disturbing part of the story is found in verse 26 where Jesus says, “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!” Now, I can understand lazy, but Jesus calls the man who did nothing wicked! I don’t know about you, but it sounds harsh and wicked is a very strong word and the meaning is that you are active in evil acts. Wow! This meaning is not only disturbing but downright scary. But I realized it’s the truth and we need to understand this verse and do something about it.

 So what do we do to change that mindset? How do we motivate someone to move away from procrastination or fear of failing or another emotion that keeps us from moving our future forward? I believe for most of us it is finding something that brings life to us, something we love so much that we ignore all of the negative emotions that keep us from moving forward. You love it so much that no matter the roadblocks you continue on your quest.

So if you are in that familiar area of not moving forward in your career, relationship or spiritual growth it’s time to renew your thinking. It’s time to rethink your future until you find what makes you feel alive! Find your future, learn from your past and begin your journey that you were meant to live. Get with someone you can trust and begin the process of change and progress. All it can do is make you better and you will add value to others!

Prepare...

“The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital” Joe Paterno

Can you believe Tiger missed that three footer to win the tournament, I could’ve made that” “Did you see Tony Romo miss that pass, I could’ve made that pass” How many of us have been in front of our sets on Sunday yelling at it then saying, “how could you screw that up, I could have done that”. With all of the pressure to perform on Sunday, even the best professionals make mistakes that cost them or their team. As I watched some of these athletes perform this weekend, I realized something that I have been trying to get my little guy to understand. Preparation is “The key” component to success in any area of life, whether it’s golf, football or any sport for that matter along with careers and the most important, relationships.

About twelve years ago, I was bombarded with messages and signs about preparing. Every time I would turn on any talk radio, I would hear some radio personality or coach talk about preparation. No matter whether it was a sport or a career or a relationship message, it was on preparation. I heard it so much, at first it got a little creepy. I began to think that something was going to happen to someone in my family and all of the weird thoughts that come along with input from outside voices.

So I went to my friend who is a pastor. I didn’t want people to think I was a freak, So, I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want to scare my wife, so I kept it on the Q.T. until I could figure out this unknown. I told him what I thought was going on and he had a little different take on it. He knew me very well, since we were golfing buddies and had been on many mission trips together, he knew me better than just about any other person. I trusted his counsel. Since he knew me well, he also knew my weaknesses and my strengths.

As I told him about the experience, he thought about it for a few minutes, and told me that I should head back to school to get some kind of degree in ministry. I told him how much I hated school and that I was too old and all the other excuses that I could muster up. Twelve years later, I am very happy I went to seminary. I learned more than I thought I already knew, which wasn’t very much. I learned that the more I learned, the more I learned that I was far, far short of knowing very much or anything at all!

But what it did for me was cause me to become a constant learner. In fact, I am always reading some kind of book or curriculum to educate me further on spiritual formation and other facts in theological doctrine, and of course the golf swing! Learning has become my new challenge in life. But more importantly, it has set me up for my next task in my ministry career.

With all of my past experience in sales, business owner, retail, youth ministry and ministry to men, it has prepared me for what I am beginning now. I never thought of it until the last job interview I went on a few months ago. As I was preparing to go on the interview, I told the guys on our leadership team at church what I was getting ready to do and they all said, “Wow Greg, that’s the perfect job for you”. Even the pastors and other people that I was connected with in the community told me the same thing. I imagine you have heard that expression towards others or hopefully yourself.

As this conversation started of us thinking that we could, “complete a particular pass”, or a “putt to win a tournament”, we need to think of something that some of us forget to realize, we couldn’t do it. If you think about these athletes, they are first of all, separated from most of us by their extraordinary ability and second and most significantly important, they are prepared. They have been preparing for that moment of greatness since they were little. They have spent countless hours practicing and training for that one moment that seems to separate them from us!


I didn’t realize twelve years ago that I would be preparing myself to step into a role that will help create a new culture that will effect generations of families and ultimately our communities. Many of us wonder why we are not the “person” that God is using. It is almost always because we are not prepared for the task. Could you imagine getting off your lazy boy and putting on Peyton Manning’s uniform and stepping on to the field trying to direct traffic like Peyton? You would be peeing in your pants! You couldn’t do it. Now if you put in the years and preparation that Peyton has put in, maybe, but you’re not Peyton and you are not probably made to be a quarterback.

But, you are made to do something and you are called to prepare and do the best with whatever task you are made to do. As I begin my new journey in ministry, I was concerned that I could lose focus and not continue the learning that has prepared me for this season of life. But, I have an edge on it. I have been at it for so long that it has become a habit that I just can’t seem to turn off. So I am challenged to raise my level of learning and continue on my quest to change our culture of men. Big challenge I know, but I have been walking this road for a long time and beginning to see a little flicker of light toward the end of the tunnel.

I would like to leave you with a piece of wisdom that I have learned from that helped me prepare for this journey. It is found in 2 Peter 3:15 “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Transition?

What’s going on with golf right now? I mean, I understand that it is the end of the season, but there is not a lot of it going on. I have read that the players were concerned that the season was too long and they are looking at working on a different schedule.  I know a lot of people that think that they should suck it up and continue to play because of all of the money the players make. I am sure the PGATour can work something out for the players that can keep the advertisers happy and the viewership up.

It won’t bother me. I’ll still keep an interest in what the players are up to on tour. Even with the NFL in mid-season, I still want some golf and in California, we can play golf year around.

Then we have the World Series with the San Francisco Giants sweeping the Detroit Tigers. Incredible win for the Giants. I’m not a huge baseball fan, but I do enjoy the playoffs and of course the World Series. I enjoy the stories of how some of the men were traded or drafted to the different teams and how some of the men were living before their life in professional sports.

With all of the sporting events taking place and school, with work and well, life, how do we find time to reflect and spend time with our most important relationship we should have…our relationship with the Jesus!

Don’t get me wrong, I really can say that I enjoy sports just as much as the next person. But, sometimes it can get me off track of what I am really here to do. I am learning that it is OK to like sports and excel in them. I finally figured that out after researching this verse that is found in 1Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 

Paul is teaching the Corinthian church that are struggling with some of the things they are doing, “Religious” or “Traditional”, which we have learned over time can bog us down from being more productive in our spiritual and everyday life which we are more inclined to pay attention to.

In the book of Mark 7 verses 1-13 Jesus is having a discussion with some of the teachers and high priests of His time. The teachers were angry with Jesus about His disciples not washing their hands properly and other silly little matters that have nothing to do with our relationship with Jesus except for men to follow man made rules.

Jesus tells them this in verse 8, “You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” Now some of us enjoy tradition and some of us don’t really care. My point to this story is not so much about traditions as it is about our habits that may have been formed out of traditions. A lot of times these traditions become the normal part of our culture. You know some of them, taking your hat off at the table or during the national anthem. Or if you’re really religious, making a sign of the cross before you enter particular areas, or large number of other religious motions we do. There are literally millions of them!

So what do we do? So, if we take another look at the verse above, 1 Cor 10:31 and look at a few words. Let’s take the word “whatever”. I don’t think Paul is trying to be the proverbial “Valley Girl” “Whatever” approach! I can look at what he is saying in context with what the rest of the verse and story says, and how Jesus reacts to this issue. It’s almost like a Nike add, “do it all for the glory of God”

I worked as a Men’s Ministry Director at a church in 2006-2008. This particular church was going through a major transition. The pastor of 33 years had suddenly passed and the church was in a tailspin of egos and “Tradition”. When I was asked to be a interim director, I walked in to, what I used to call a “Ferrari” that was wrecked and needed to be repaired from the frame to the paint job. This was a premier Ministry that most of the main players had walked away from disgruntled and bitter.

While I was there, we went through five pastors. I’ll never forget one of the pastors when he came on board for our first staff meeting. He said something that I have never forgotten and use to this day. He knew the problem we were in and was there to get us back on track. This church had been around for over fifty years, so change was not what the parishioners were interested in hearing. They wanted to go back to the “way it was.” What they didn’t understand, was there needed to be change. The traditions were robbing some of the other believers of an experience that would not be allowed to happen as long as it stayed the same.

So, as the meeting was in session, our new pastor began leadership training. Something the staff had never experienced before. After prayer and a few announcements, he made this statement, “People are against what people don’t understand”. Now, I know that isn’t that profound until you really understand the gravity involved in establishments that hold on to tradition. It becomes part of who we are, it can become a habit then to a lifestyle. Just go to any third world country and try to feel comfortable. If you have ever been into most parts of Mexico, you can’t even throw toilet paper into the toilet when you’re finished doing business. I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about. I’m against doing that, but I got used to it.

What I am saying is this, If you are doing life because you are used to doing something because that is the way it has always been done and someone might want to show you a better way, don’t get upset, try something new, it might be a better way. I think Jesus was telling us to do something different to get out of the mundane routines of life to get our focus on Him. So we could get out of our comfort zone and get uncomfortable in life in order to get comfortable in trusting in Him.

 This way, you and I can be comfortable in doing what we are called to do and to do it to the best of our abilities and give glory to Him through our efforts. There is nothing better than a happy worker, not worried about someone looking over his shoulder. That person knows who his real boss is and if he pleases Him, that is the highest pleasure! Ephesians 5:10 “Find out what pleases the Lord”

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” Calvin Coolidge

What motivates you?

This past week I thought about what happened during the last seven days. I often will reflect on the past week and ask myself a few questions; what happened that significantly set me up for a learning opportunity and what can I learn from either a failure or a victory.

I have received many lessons from my kids and this one involves them both. My 7^th grader is the one that you may consider the athlete and my 10^th grader, well, maybe not as much, but something changed my thoughts on that. My daughter plays water polo and is a starter as a sophomore. The team is mostly sophomore with the exception of two seniors. She has worked really hard to make that team and has improved far beyond what most thought capable. She is tenacious and puts in 100% for practice, which has paid off.

My son on the other hand is a gifted athlete with a lack of motivation. He doesn’t try hard in practice. In the first four games of the season, he did just enough to get by on the field.  He doesn’t work at it like my daughter and he doesn’t seem to really care. So, I had an idea. I told him that if he worked hard all week and played in the game like he is capable of I would get him a pair of shoes he has been bugging me for. He has been begging me for a new pair of shoes for over a month.

My boy loves shoes. In fact if he could by a new pair of shoes every day, he would! He has talked his grandmother, his mom and his grandfather into buying him new shoes. They have all been sucked into his charm and they bow to his shoe fetish. I finally put a stop to it three months ago and it is driving him crazy. The kid has five new pair of $80-$100 pairs of shoes.

This Saturday, he played hard for the first two quarters scoring a touchdown and an extra 2 point conversion and multiple tackles and two sacks. He was pulled from the game along with all of the other starters in the second quarter after their team was beating the opposition.

Of course after the game, he was excited and also ready to head to the sporting goods store for a new pair of shoes. I really don’t want to make a habit of motivating him in that manner, but I wanted him to get a taste of what hard work feels like and thrill to know that he contributed to the team and also a chance for me to have a teaching moment with my boy.

I was studying in the book of Timothy this week. I was reminded in this verse about our talents and gifts that we are rewarded with from our creator. It reads 1 Timothy 4:14 “Do not neglect your gift, which was given you…15 Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.” I reminded my son of this verse and mentioned to him the story about his sister. Now, that itself will motivate most boys. Knowing that his older sister is playing well as a starter, should be enough to challenge him! She has become a person that many of the girls get motivation from to work harder. Now that’s progress!

My daughter found motivation from within herself to work hard while my son found motivation from something different to accomplish the same task. The most difficult responsibility for most of us can be to understand and realize that we are responsible for our talents and gifts. We are responsible to give those gifts and talents to humanity without question. Unfortunately, most of us are not taught that way. Our culture is not really about giving as much as it is about getting.

My daughter has been “diligent” in her pursuit to be a top athlete, while my boy has been riding on his talent. She has given herself “wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.”  So, what about you…?

Question, are you diligent in your talents to give to others? If not, it may be a time to reflect on this verse and ask God to guide you in the correct area. If you are not sure what to do, seek Him with diligence and do something good until God gives you the next task to use your talents.

Ryder Cup weekend is here and gone. I enjoy these formats. It consists of the top players in the world against USA’s best. For golfers and golf fans it doesn’t get much better. I enjoy the different formats used. It mixes things up for something different and builds drama into almost every shot. Obviously I rooted for team USA, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t like the opposing team. I don’t think there are any golfers I don’t like, but I do like some more than others.

Golf is not a team sport until these types of formats, which I believe is the huge draw of the Ryder Cup. All of the golfers in this event depend on each other to perform and acquire points for each event. As the event was coming to a close on Sunday the Europeans began to take over. America had a sizable lead on Saturday, but that didn’t seem to matter to Team Europe. Jose Maria Olazabal was asked Saturday night about the lead that the American team had and he responded, “I believe”.

The European team came back from a surmountable deficit to take the cup by a half of a point, just a half of a point. I find that incredible. I thought Ian Poulters play Saturday gave them the hope they needed to rally back and take the cup back to European soil.

Golf is a very individual sport. But the Ryder Cup format changes that and it becomes a team sport. I sat back and began to think of why the Europeans seemed to have dominated this type of play. I wondered why, if we have some of the best players in the world why don’t we win more? This is where we can look at society as a whole and wonder why we are separated as a culture.

I believe we can learn something from the team aspect of golf. The American team to me, just never seems as passionate about winning as a team as the Europeans. I realize that the American team wants to win, but I don’t see the camaraderie between them like I see with the Europeans.  

What is that telling us? Can we not learn from the game of golf that our “Team” efforts are a reflection of our culture? A lot of the Europeans don’t even come from the same country but find “Team” passion for each other. Now, I guess I’m a typical American male, I don’t like to necessarily hug other men or kiss them on the cheek, which most Europeans find it common place. I have to say that I am envious of that type of caring for another man to win.

What happened to the America that once was dominant in just about everything? What happened to the America that my grandfather was not ashamed to be a part of and fight for, even though he was a native Indian? I think we can learn a lot from a game that has the passion of men to win with other men and share in the victory!

This weekend I was a part of a men’s event that I have been dreaming of for a long time. On Friday night we had a comedian that hit us between the eyes and heart about the Truth of America. I saw a lot of men rally around a message that I thought may divide men. But it inspired them to change and think about America and the team aspect of its roots. Europeans came over to start a “Team” that would not be taken over by a tyrant, but a democracy for the people and by the people.

I think it’s time to go back to our roots and take a long hard look at the Truth. The Truth of what the original Americans had in mind for our country. Until we go to that truth, our country will continue to fall into the hands of apathy and weakness! What will you do to make a difference?

Character Pays

WOW, there were lots of sporting events going on this weekend. My high school daughter played in her water polo game, my son had his football game, the NFL was here and the FEDEX Cup had its final showdown which ended in dramatic fashion. 10 million big ones went to Brandt Snedeker, that’s a big payday!

With so much going on, where do you prioritize, or what do you prioritize? Obviously for me, it was my kids games, yard work, car washing, fueling and then a chance to watch some of the golf and of course the San Francisco 49er’s. Unfortunately for me and many other die hard red and gold fans, the 49er’s lost.

There were many story lines this weekend and many tight and wild games, but the game I really enjoyed was the match up between the Baltimore Ravens and the New England Patriots. Not only was it a very exciting game, it was well played on both sides. It also has become a rivalry between the two teams. The game ended in the same fashion as the AFC Championship game last season, but this time the kick made it, slightly, and I mean slightly, between the up-rights!

The story about Torrey Smith really stood out to me. His extra effort in the game was just amazing. Just hours after his nineteen year old brother died in a motorcycle accident, Smith played for his little brother and put up some big numbers for the night. As I listened to the NFL talk radio show on Sirius Satllite, I listened to a story that should inspire us all.

He raised his family on his own. He changed diapers, worked odd jobs, helped his siblings with school work…Torrey did things that we don’t see a lot of young athletes do these days. Instead of going off to a big ten college to just play football, Torrey went off to not only play football, but to help raise and support his family. When most young men go to college to leave that life, Torrey took the opportunity to help his family. That is character! Something we don’t see or hear about often enough.

I look forward to hearing more of these types of stories. It brings hope to a lost culture. A culture that has it’s priorities out of position. It seems that Torrey put his priority on his family and his career was an option to help them live a better life.

Our life is defined by our actions. Our life is about our family and the families we build together in sports, co-workers and our faith communities. Our character can be seen during good times but our true character is exposed in times of desperation and trouble.

The big question today is, how is your character? Who has influenced your growth as a person? What influences your actions? What will you do today that will effect your decisions tomorrow? Will the decisions you make improve your character or will they damage it? It seems that Torrey decided to make a difference in his family out of necessity. Our character stands out in adversity. So next time you are squeezed, remember that your character will be exposed!

The Bench Stinks!    (Bryce in the back field with black socks running to the left)

With the PGATour on hold for a few weeks, I had a chance to watch a little of the Champions Tour before the football game. My elementary school friend Bill Glasson was leading by 5 shots before he struggled on the back 9 to relinquish his lead to Willie Wood who had a great round without a bogey all week.

Like we have mentioned before how tough it is to win on the PGATour. So, without a lot of golf to talk about, let’s talk about football. It was a great weekend for me because my boy scored the winning touch down in over time. He’s a seventh grader with a lot of potential, but doesn’t really understand that part of it yet. I think his real potential is in golf but that’s another discussion.

I was able to watch football all day doo to a nasty cold that had me feeling no better than a lump of poop, I managed to watch more than my fare share of football. After my boy and I finished watching the San Francisco 49er’s win Sunday night, my boy asked me with some seriousness in his 13 year old voice and said, “Dad do you think I could ever be in the NFL?”

“I said B, I think you could, but are you willing to sacrifice some other things to work really hard to get there?”

As we talked about it he mentioned some of the other boys on his team that were not getting a chance to play because of a few different reasons. It may be because they don’t have the skills. Some of the boys have never played football before and need time to develop. He wondered why they weren’t that good with kind of an attitude of, “well I’m just good and they’re not”. I mentioned to him that he had been playing for over four years and that is a big advantage over those boys, so we can’t blame them for that. Heck they might turn around in high school and become the stars.

I told him about my seventh grade experience. Our center on our seventh grade team became the leading high school passer in the valley as a quarter back and set a few records along the way, so you just don’t know. I told him that his job was to encourage and coach those players that were not playing right now.

It is after my son’s game Saturday is what I want to talk about. There were quite a few upset parents. They were upset that their boys didn’t get to play. When my boy started to play for the seventh grade team, they had him on the offensive line because he wasn’t really trying that hard. He thought since he had a fantastic season last year, he was just going to be the starting running back and everything would be the same as last year. He received a rude awakening. He was upset and ready to quit after a few weeks of pre-season practice, until he stepped it up and proved other wise.

Unfortunately at this level, it begins to be about winning. If a boy is not good enough to make the starting line up, he will spend most of the season on the bench. They do have a fifth quarter for those players, but for most of the parents that isn’t enough. Now I know the coaches and they try not to play favorites and put the players in the positions they think will be their best opportunity for winning.

One of the problems in the first two games they have played, the score has not been in our favor and both wins came in overtime. So for obvious reasons the best players stayed in the game. You really can’t fault the coaches for that. So, late afternoon all of the parents received the weekly email from the team coach saying congratulations on the win and all of the other information that he needs to get out to parents. With an extra line saying, “Tomorrow night at 6:00 pm there will be a meeting with the parents, about many parents complaining about their boys not getting game time”. I’m sure this will not be fun for the coach, but I’m certain he has been down this road before. If you have coached before, and I have, it’s not a fun road.

One thing about football, it is performance oriented. Like most any business or any other sport, performance determines you’re worth. But there is one thing that is bigger than football and football is very big in our country, it’s our life with God. Many that can’t play a sport or don’t feel they are a part of a team, can sometimes feel like they have no worth. But we do! Our walk with God is not performance determined. Our worth in God is found through our relationship in Jesus. If you are feeling you don’t matter, just remember, you do! God doesn’t make mistakes, we do. If you are not in the game and feel like you are sitting on the bench, just remember that God has a place and purpose for your life. Sometimes you will need to go to the coach of life and ask for help! So, don’t hesitate, ask today. There can be a time for you to score, sometimes it’s in overtime!

Football, commitment….where are the dads?

Football is here! I enjoyed the opening season it was awesome. I love football more than golf, but golf doesn’t hurt so I can still play that and be competitive. This past Sunday was fun for me because I’m a die hard San Francisco 49er fan and ready for what looks to be another great season.

I went to lunch with my nephew Tuesday to catch up on his career in coaching. He is an Offensive Coordinator for one of our local high school teams and is doing an outstanding job. He and I have been meeting for the last few years working on his dream and what God’s purpose is in his life, so I guess you could say that I have been coaching him.

As we talked about football and life he mentioned something to me that I just had to put down and share with others. I am in the business of working with men and motivating them to be the man they are called to be along with that includes being a father and leader in their homes.

My nephew said to me, “I feel like I’m coaching a bunch of girls”, I asked why, “they act like girls because they’re being raised by girls, not women, but girls”. I asked him out of all of the kids on the team, how many of them had dads, and told me, “only one”. He told me that he was also, “the only kid that was getting good grades and showed respect for the coaches and didn’t have a filthy mouth.”

Now don’t get me confused with being a person against women, because that is not what this is about. Thank God for mom’s…I think women should have equal rights and it’s not their job to be a father. But this is about absent dads, deadbeat dads, abusive dads, heck, dads that don’t want to take on the responsibility of being a father. My nephew and I both understand the lack of fathering because we both went through it and understand the problems that it has caused in today’s culture. This is a perfect example of what it means to go fatherless.

We are both concerned about the future of football. In our community that happens to be a huge football community we have seen a significant decrease in football participation.  Last year my boy played at another school because only seven kids signed up from his school and there were only three teams in our division as opposed to six or seven in the years past. His middle school is the now the biggest, by the amount of players, in our school district, which was once an average number of kids for all of the middle schools. His school is now playing outside of the district to play other schools with a similar size program.

The NFL has the largest margin of viewership of any sport. It is approximately 48% viewership with the next closet being college basketball at something like 18%. So why is it seemingly slowing down at the grade school and middle school ranks…I’m fairly confident in saying this, a lack of participation from dads. Moms don’t play football. That is not what they are designed to do. Today’s moms are playing the role of dad and mom and the studies are out, it doesn’t work. Mostly because the moms never had dads themselves, so they don’t have a clue what it looks like. It also might be that women aren’t men…just sayin!

I know there are moms out there that are doing a great job and the ones that are struggling is not necessarily their fault. Moms aren’t made to be dads. Boys especially, need a dad or at least a positive male figure constantly in their lives to model how men are to be men, but that positive role model still can not replace a father.

Friends we are beginning to see a generation coming up that will not know how to parent and live under conviction of commitment to a family. It’s seen on the football field, no commitment to team, no commitment to authority and certainly no commitment to sexual behavior and a host of other behaviors.

If you are reading this and you are a dad but no commitment to your kids, family and wife, shame on you! There is no excuse and you know it. I am sick and tired of the crazy stories of “well you don’t understand, she’s _____ and she did____” Look, you married her and said, “For better and for worse”, stand up and be a man or it will get worse!

I work with men at our local mission on a weekly basis. I have been doing it for over ten years now and the stories are almost always the same…98% of the men have no father. 98% of them are always fatherless or have a dad that physically abused them, sexually abused them, neglected them, or gave them their first experience with drugs and sometimes all of the above.

Men, it’s time to step up and be a father. I have made this statement a number of times and I’ll leave you with it. “Any male can be a dad, but it takes a man to be a father”!

Here is some curriculum that our men have used effectively!

http://www.maninthemirror.org

http://www.mensfraternity.com

http://www.battlezoneministries.org

http://www.tonyevans.org http://kingdommanbook.com

What Am I supposed To Do?

“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” – Buddha

After my Saturday round of golf I began my usual, “what ifs”. You know the ones, “what if I would have made that putt and what if I would have not taken the chance on number nine”? I’m always curious about the “what if” I would have played golf as a kid, would I have been good enough to play on the PGA Tour?

But that thought turned into, “What the heck am I going to do now”? I’m over fifty now and have no set career path. I have been in vocational ministry now since 2002 and began the ministry journey in 1996 when I became excited about it with a bunch of high school students at a start up church that I have been a part of since that time. Of course with one three year absence from that community where I worked at another church I went back after some problems that I didn’t want to be a part of anymore.

I have been out of employment since December of 2011, when I was let go for unfamiliar reasons.  This is not the first time I have been jobless though. There have been a few other times, but this time is a lot different. I have had many different opportunities to get out of ministry. I have 25+ years of retail management and ownership experience. So I have had a few different shots at getting back in that arena but every time I go on a job interview strange things happen.

Back a few years ago when I had sold my business, I went back to school to get my seminary degree while working at my old store. It was easy for me since I already knew the business. A friend of mine came into the store to get a stereo installed and he asked if I would be interested in running the golf division of his sporting goods store. I told him that I probably wouldn’t be able to with school and working part time at my church and besides they can’t make that much money anyway? He surprised me with how much they made and I went on an interview for the job and they offered me, not just the golf division but to run a complete sporting goods store. (I’m cutting out a lot of other details so I can get to the point)

I went to the interview which was a few hours north of my home and after a few hours they offered me the job. But, I threw the man who interviewed me a curve ball. I told him that I needed to go home and pray with my wife about it. He was almost in shock. He said, “You want to what…pray…I thought you wanted this job?” I told my story on why and that I would get back to him on Monday.

Monday was here and I prayed with my wife about the position and she said to me, “Greg, I don’t think you should take this job…I just don’t feel right about it”. I mentioned to her that she wouldn’t need to work anymore, but she was sure that it wasn’t right. So I talked with the person Monday and gave them the news after I thanked him and told him why I wouldn’t be taking the position. He abruptly said, “thank you and good bye”.

I went about my day and began the “what ifs”. You know, “What if” I missed out on an opportunity and so on. About four weeks later my wife called me at work and said, “Did you read the paper this morning?” I said, “You know I don’t read the paper, what?” “The company you were going to work for is closing down, they’re going BK…you see God was protecting us.”

Every time I think I need to get out of ministry, another opportunity pops up out of no where. It’s the craziest thing, I have looked at bailing out of ministry four different times and another opportunity will pop up. Every time I have went on an interview when I think it’s time to get out of ministry, an odd situation will take place in order for me to stay focused on what God has in store for my next journey. I could tell you the other situations, but it would take to much space for a blog. So maybe you will be interested in my book, “Seeing God’s Purpose through the Camouflage of Irony”, I have written and will be available soon. It explains in more detail the ironic way God’s will works in our lives as well as the cast of characters in the bible.

I am on my fifth time of going to another vocational ministry interview this Wednesday out of me wanting to throw the towel in after my last job. This job as well as the others came out of Gods creative way of keeping me in the game.

Isn’t it crazy how life comes together sometimes? All of my experience and learning have lead up to this point of my vocational ministry career. God just keeps preparing me for the next task.

If you are like many that are not sure what or where God wants you to be in your career, just remember this, as long as you are seeking Him and serving others, you are in His will and He will reveal your next move unexpectedly. So the “What ifs” become the faith we are called to walk in!

Stay Connected

I woke up extra early Wednesday morning to prepare for our annual Wednesday morning group of men that meet at 6 am which begins in the second week of September and runs into March. We started this group called Men’s Fraternity four years ago with about 120 men. It is a three year curriculum that helps men engage in the quest for “Authentic Manhood”. Its excellent material and we have seen a large number of men’s lives change. But, this morning was different.

We run two different classes on each side of our church. One classroom for each year the men are going through to complete the three year journey. Something that I have learned over the years of facilitating small groups, especially with men, that men need to be invited personally and from someone they can trust.

Like I said, this morning was different. Only seven men showed up plus the two facilitators for the groups. A huge difference since we normally have an average of 60 men. Two things happened that I realized once I left and went home to get my kids to school and get ready for work. While I was putting, (Oh, I forgot to mention that I stopped at the golf course to putt for a few minutes) so, while I was putting, I began missing to the left, and when I would correct it, I began to push everything to the right. I noticed as I became aware of what I was doing, I was moving the putter on an incorrect path.

I stopped for a second and remembered what I had been doing, and it’s a bad habit I tend to fall into frequently. That habit is not staying connected. In order for my putts to drop like I want them to, I need to be aware of the connection of my left bicep staying connected to my left pec and the back of my left hand pointing at the target. After I had remembered what I was doing wrong, I corrected it and the putts were rolling in.

Then it struck me like a flood. The thought of the men that were not connected to a small group, accountability partner or some kind of a mentor is the problem. Now, I realize men have to tend to work, family and other activities that their kids are involved in that seem to suck the other part of life away. But one reason we guys don’t do small groups, bible studies and meet with other men on a spiritual level is we don’t see it as a priority. We know it’s important, but we must not think it’s a priority. Now that’s a problem. Like our golf swing, we need to be coached in order to get better, or in this case, to grow spiritually.

One problem Jesus saw in His disciples as well as the rest of us, is that most people do not make it a priority to stay connected with others and worse the connection with Jesus. Since Jesus is the creator of life and came to give us life, why wouldn’t we want to stay connected to Him and others to move ahead in life?

It’s a lot like the shows we watch about wild life or the National Geographic documentaries. You know the ones, where the Zebras are all together grazing when suddenly a Lion comes out of hiding and begins chasing the pack of Zebras. Suddenly one Zebra breaks away by itself and the Lion pursues it because now it has no protection. The Lion chases it down until it falls prey to the Lion’s strength and stamina.

One thing about sin, it has strength and stamina. It will continue to pursue you as you begin to get away from the tribe of men that would have protected you through prayer and encouragement. In the book of James he says this to his readers in chapter 5 verse 16, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”. I know for a lot of men, this is very uncomfortable. But look at the last two words in the verse, “powerful and effective.” There is prevailing power in intercessory prayer and power in numbers. Just read what the wisest man ever said about the power of numbers in Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

So, I would like to leave you with a challenge today. What are you going to do about your priorities…what is it going to take in order to get them order? Let me give you a hint, the time is NOW! Don’t ever wait. There may not be a tomorrow!

Finish the race!

Monday was just another example how hard it is to win on the PGA Tour. I really thought that Tiger Woods was going to come thorugh with one of his miraculous endings, and he nearly did. With Rory McIlroy and Louis Oosthuizen struggling to finish, I thought, “It’s gonna happen again, Tiger’s gonna win!” This time Rory finished enough to capture the win. Tiger has won many times just because the others couldn’t seem to finish or “close the deal”.

Golf has so many similarities to life. On the PGATour, it’s difficult to win and very difficult to be leading a tournament knowing that Tiger is lurking. There is a particular mindset that sets the winners apart from the others. I believe almost every one of the PGATour players are capable of wining, but what sets the winners apart from the rest of the field. Sometimes players get streaky and win, but most of the players set themselves up to win.

Just like our walk in life, even when we are winning, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8. Just the same when Tiger is in the hunt on the PGA and guys know it, they fumble and it can cost them the tournament. You may have been in a situation recently that involved fighting off the enemy. You were doing well and the next thing you know you fell victim to sin.

Rory still fought his way into victory. He found away to adjust his thinking to recover from his bad shots, to bring home the victory. Many of us fall regularly. Why is that?
It is all about our thinking. The bible says in Psalms 23:7 “As a man thinks, so is he” How are you thinking? Tour players learn to rethink and process the game differently than the average armature. They have to practice differently and train their minds to think differently to achieve the game they are looking for. In the book of Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is his good, pleasing and perfect will.” There is a ton of verbs and nouns to unpack in this verse, but let’s just stick to our theme, renewing our minds.

In order to finish well, we will need to change our thinking. One of the principles that I teach, as well as other teachers of the game, is to have a balanced finish. Think about having a good finish is a key swing thought. Believe it or not, it will help you concentrate on having a good swing when you think of the finish. Now that is going to take time and training to “renew” your mind to think that way.

If you want to have a better finish in your walk with God or just have a better finish in life you will need to begin the discipline of “renewing” your mind and begin filling it with words and healthy situations that will cause your character to grow and become fruitful. Our job as humanity should be to bring goodness and peace to a hurting world. I want to finish well, how about you?

The Bread of Life

Wednesday afternoon I was running out the door to get in my car to pick up my daughter from Water Polo practice. I grabbed a piece of the Pretzel Bread my wife bought the other day at Costco. They are little round pieces of bread about half the size of a baseball and they are really tasty. As I hurried out the door, I took a bite and jumped in my car to start it.  Then I took another bite, when I noticed something. As you can see in the picture, there is a picture of a cross.

Now, normally I try to talk about golf related subjects, but today I just felt that I needed to show this picture as a reminder. In the book of John chapter 6, Jesus is asked when He had arrived to His destination, verse 25, where He had come from. He gave them a different answer than they were looking for. An answer to remind them that they were not looking for Him, but the bread they had eaten during His feeding of the multitudes in the beginning of chapter 6, or in this case, the day before.

As Jesus answers them, He tells them this, John 6:35 “I am the bread of life…” they began to grumble amongst themselves as the passage explains, but then Jesus tells them to stop grumbling amongst themselves and proclaims this staggering statement in John 6:53 Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.” You may be thinking as the listeners of His time did, “what the heck is Jesus talking about…is Jesus talking about cannibalism?”

The bible says that many of His followers began to leave and the story continues as part of Jesus ministry. But the point I would like to highlight is that Jesus is our provision, even when we are not thinking about it. The piece of bread I was eating wasn’t unique at all. In fact all of the breads had a cross on the top. I just realized it as I began to eat the bread when I thought of this story in the book of John that is rarely talked about.

The connection in this story involves different phases of Jesus’ time on earth. Jesus was born in Bethlehem, which in the Hebrew language means “House of Bread”. The little town of Bethlehem was a village that was known for its bread. I see a little God irony here, don’t you? Jesus takes this story in John chapter 6 and tells the listeners that he is the bread from heaven, not just the manna that came in the desert during Moses life.

As I began eating the bread, it reminded me of what Jesus was talking about when He told His followers that they must “eat His flesh and drink His blood”. His message is, we must consume Him. Just like eating the bread to nourish my body, I must consume His words and His spirit to nourish my soul, spirit and body. Like oxygen, we need Jesus because He is life and is the maker of life. If we begin to think of Jesus as our life and not just as an appetizer, we will become more fulfilled and attractive to a world that needs “the bread of life”.

Maybe as we move forward in our daily walk we will think of Jesus as our provision for everything and not just bread!