“Add value to others” John Maxwell

Last Wednesday my boy’s middle school football team had their awards banquet. With all 93 players on hand for some grub, some social time with their buddies and of course the awards. After the awards were handed out and the program came to an end, my wife and I began socializing with the parents and the players were having a good time talking with the cheerleaders.

After only a few minutes of socializing my boy came to me with a hurt and disgusted look on his face, and said, “can we go now”, I knew something had upset him, so I asked him what was the problem, but he wouldn’t say, so I said, “hang out with your friends, your mom and I are talking with some of the parents”. We had become friends with many of them over the years of youth football. But he persisted with what looked like tears that he was holding back. After a few more minutes we began walking out to our cars as we congratulated some of the boys who received the awards. The boy who received the MVP award was one of my boy’s friends since youth baseball where his father and I coached together.

My boy did not want to ride with me home, so he hopped in is mothers car without saying goodbye to me. I asked him why, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with me. So, I walked to my car wondering what was going on, what did I do to hurt my boy? I thought maybe he was a little jealous of me giving the other boys their accolades. So as we all arrived to our home he walked over to me and buried his head in my chest with a big hug. I asked him what was going on at the event and he stood back and looked at me with tears in his eyes and holding back is apparent broken heart.

I asked him to tell me what was going on. He looked at me and said, “I didn’t achieve anything, I didn’t get an award”.

I said, “did you expect to get one”?

My boy, “Of course, I’m better than so and so”

So, I began the talk. I mentioned to him the boys that received their award were constantly working hard in practice as well as the games. They were always in a play whether it was defense or offense, they worked very hard and they were noticed by their peers and the boys voted for them. So my boy felt a little betrayed that they didn’t vote him in for one of the awards.

Have you ever been passed over for some kind of recognition? Remember what that may have felt like at 13 years old? Sometimes we want the recognition without the extra effort that rewards are followed by. Like my boy, he wanted the reward without the effort. He is a good player, but doesn’t give the effort that warrants the kudos that comes with the work ethic. He played this year with the talent he had last season thinking that was enough. Unfortunately, he had to learn the hard way. In football, your position is always up for grabs. Other players that work hard can take your spot even when you are a better athlete.

It happened with my high school daughter this season during water polo. There are a few players that were better than her talent wise, but she worked hard and took their spot on the team as a starter. This is just one example of what people can and will do when they work hard. We see it in business as well as sports.

In the book of Mathew chapter 25 verse 14-26, we find Jesus in another discussion about a description of Heaven. This story is told many times to listeners of our times about our talents and how we are given gifts to serve others and most importantly, our master. But the disturbing part of the story is found in verse 26 where Jesus says, “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!” Now, I can understand lazy, but Jesus calls the man who did nothing wicked! I don’t know about you, but it sounds harsh and wicked is a very strong word and the meaning is that you are active in evil acts. Wow! This meaning is not only disturbing but downright scary. But I realized it’s the truth and we need to understand this verse and do something about it.

 So what do we do to change that mindset? How do we motivate someone to move away from procrastination or fear of failing or another emotion that keeps us from moving our future forward? I believe for most of us it is finding something that brings life to us, something we love so much that we ignore all of the negative emotions that keep us from moving forward. You love it so much that no matter the roadblocks you continue on your quest.

So if you are in that familiar area of not moving forward in your career, relationship or spiritual growth it’s time to renew your thinking. It’s time to rethink your future until you find what makes you feel alive! Find your future, learn from your past and begin your journey that you were meant to live. Get with someone you can trust and begin the process of change and progress. All it can do is make you better and you will add value to others!