Family, community, “It”

“The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community”. William James

Last week we looked at small piece of Michael Phelps life. This writing is on another Olympian but with a different story. The story of Gabby Douglas has not only taken the world by surprise, but it is a story of family and community. I had never heard of Gabby until the Olympic trials a few months ago. Like most Americans, gymnastics are not followed that heavily until we get the huge dose of it every four years during the Olympics.

When I saw her in the trials a few months ago, I was intrigued by her electric smile and also by her Barbie like style during her exercises. To me, she has “It” and I didn’t even know her until this time. Now, I’m not going to say, “I knew she would win”, but I was drawn to her. People are drawn to people with “It”. We know lots of people with “It”. Some of the more famous and popular people with “It”, are people like Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Johnny Depp, and the countless others. These are the people we see in the spot light. The ones we look to sometimes for inspiration or sometimes we idolize.

Once I watched the video of Gabby’s mother and her new extended family, I thought of how many people today don’t get to experience the power of family and something that can be elusive to most of us, the power of community. I see the character that this experience has instilled in her. When she is being interviewed, I hear a side of Gabby that has integrity and a passion for community and family. I understand that she is still a very young girl, but I see a foundation of the making of a woman for leadership. What kind of leadership, I don’t know, but she has “It” and “It” is not easily hidden.

There are many people with “It”. Would you recognize “It”? Some people with “It” are more visible than others. Some have a bigger dose than others and some are arrogant about it, while others are humble about “It”. Some people may not know that they have “It’”, but it just seems to flow out of them like water from a cool running brook.  Gabby’s character seems to have been shaped by her family and the talent that has been given to her at birth. She seems to have been born with “It”. But what if she was not nurtured the way she has been by her family and the extended family that invested in her future? I think it is obvious that her character and talent would not have been shaped in the way it has been. Isn’t it strange how we get around the right people and our personality can change or get around the right crowd and our views seem to bend?

When my oldest daughter was in high school, she began to get around a group of girls that were going down the wrong road, but she couldn’t see it because she was invited into a group of girls for the first time and to her, it felt good. I remember telling her a verse from the book 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” But I didn’t tell her the address, I didn’t want to sound like I was preaching at her, I just explained to her that bad company corrupts good character. After she began to go too far I finally moved her to a private school. She was mad at me all week until she realized that she had realized that who she was keeping company with was going to get her in some serious trouble. I still remember her coming to me at the end of the week saying, “thank you daddy, I know this was the right thing to do, I love you”. And well, guess what...it was!

I like what Gabbys mother said in the interview. She said that it was the hardest thing she had ever done, was to let go of something she loved so much, but realizing that her little girl would need to go away in order to become the champion she has become. I think the most important things we can do for our kids is to learn how God has shaped them and help them see what God has put on their hearts for their future. Gabbys mother learned through loving her little girl and seeing the obvious talent she had.

Sometimes we will need to let them go to another family in order for them to grow in their talents and character. I’m not saying to give them away to another family, but to get help from another family. When I coached my boy’s 9 year old baseball team, the other coach would coach my son on the mound and I would coach his boy on the mound. You probably have been there. You give them direction and they turn their back on you and the other dad tells them the same thing and they excel. You may have been there before, a team that is run by a few different coaches and your kid responded to the other dad. Family’s are the difference makers in kids lives along with community to reinforce the parents. I enjoy family with a big dose of community, it is what drives me in learning to serve others.

Just remember that we serve our community by serving our family. Next time you see “It’, help “it” out. You may serve the next Olympian!